This Is Your Life
by slvrstarlight
Summary: ON HIATUS: Two people knew his fate: They knew who would hate him, who would respect him and who would come to eventually love him. This is his life…
1. Author's Notes

Author's notes:  I've taken on putting general notes up before I start new stories….Feh!

The idea for this fic just kinda popped up in my head. I was watching my very own Inu Yasha marathon…I love my cd burner…and this kinda just clicked.  Plus a chibi Inu is just so KAWAII!!!  I'm not sure how long to drag this out.  I know for a fact that this will be at least 6 chapters long, but after that I'm not sure where to go with it.  

If any of you guys have any suggestions, cuz I'd love to hear them feel free to e-mail me at slvrstarlight@hotmail.com.  That chapter will be dedicated to the person who came up with the idea if I feel that it's an appropriate.

**Disclaimer:  Inu Yasha: A Feudal Fairy Tale is a product of Rumiko Takahashi, and all original characters are her creation.  In short, I OWN NOTHING!**

This will not be posted at the beginning of each chapter due to the fact that I'm lazy…

Remember: Read and review, ja ne!!

~*silverstarlight*~


	2. Mother

**Part One: Mother**

My sweet baby boy.

Today is your birthday-- did you know that?

Of course you didn't, you're only a year old.  You only just started walking by yourself three weeks ago; well, running is more like it; always the impatient one, even now.

I'm going to miss this when I'm gone….

As I stand here watching you sleep in your crib, I'm thinking about your future.  The life you'll have without your mother.  And for that I want to say I'm sorry, Inu Yasha.  

The day you were born, I saw your entire life flash before my eyes.  I suppose you could say I was 'blessed' with the gift of foresight.  Sometimes that's a good thing, like the vision I saw of your father before I met him, and the vision I had about you before you were ever conceived.

I knew you'd be something special.

You remind me of your father-- did you know that?  ::Giggles:: Sometimes I forget that you're still just a baby when I talk to you.  Although I know you will have wisdom and strength beyond your years when you grow up.

I wish that I could be able to see it-- your change from childhood to manhood that is.  But I've seen the man you're going to grow into.  Strong, proud, courageous, fearless; you'll be exactly like your father.

I suppose now is as good as a time as any to tell you this, seeing how you'll not understand until after it's too late anyway.

Your life will be a hard one, my sweet boy, and for that I am so, so sorry.  Sorry for the pain you'll endure because of your heritage, sorry for the heartache that will be inflicted on you, and sorry for leaving you so soon.

Yes, Mama's leaving, but it's not because she wants to.  Just know that I did my best to protect you for as long as I could  Your father will be leaving also, but he's leaving sooner than I am.  He doesn't want to either, but to keep us safe, he has to.

Sometimes foresight isn't all it's made out to be.  These are the things I saw after you were born.  

I suppose that I can be thankful for knowing how much time I have left with my family before it's broken apart by fate.

Your father and I can plan somewhat for your future, we can't change it, but at least we can make sure that you are taken care of even if we can't be there.

He had swords made today, one for you and one for your brother, Sesshomaru.  Your sword is a guardian sword.  It's to be used to protect yourself and the ones you hold dear to your heart.  I know I said that many would hate you for being a hanyou, but there will come a time where you will find camaraderie with those that don't care that you're half and half.  They'll stand by you no matter what the circumstances.  You will all willingly give your lives for one another, and for that I'm grateful.

But I'm getting ahead of myself here.

I suppose I should start from the beginning and tell you about the woman who sealed you away.  When I saw that it broke my heart.  It would devastate any mother to see her only son sealed to a tree.

But if you ask me, you're going to be too good for her anyway.

I also saw the girl who unsealed you a number of years later.  She will be drastically different from the one who sealed you. They could pass for twins easily, but this girl is one of a kind.  Her attire is rather strange, but she will have a beautiful heart.  She'll love you, every part of you; even when the darkness that will eventually slip into your soul tries to take you.  She'll stand by you, she'll protect you, and she'll willingly sacrifice herself for you if needs be.

Most importantly, she'll never ask you for more than what you have.  She'll never ask you to become something you're not, or only be part of who you are.  You were born in love.  The bond that your father and I share is strong; the only bond stronger that exists will be the one you and your mate will share.

She'll heal your heart where the world around you will wound it, including the scars from the betrayal of a past love.  You'll be happy together, blissfully happy.

I didn't need a vision to see that.

I just hope you won't hate your brother _too much.  You'll have plenty of reasons to, but I still hope that one day you'll both reconcile with each other.  He just doesn't understand right now, but one day I hope he will.  I can't change your future, but to a degree you can.  Some things are destined to happen.  The kami have set those events, and no human or demon will be able to alter them, but there are a few things we can fix.  _

I told you father about my visions of you future.  I left out the things that your brother will do to you.  Knowing his temper, your father would spank the poor boy from now until the day he left to battle the dragon.

::Sighs::

But maybe, in a way, it's for the best-- what happens, that is.  After all, you will become a triumphant warrior before you see your twentieth summer.  Your pack will be famous for your great deeds and all the adventures you will go on all over Nihon.  They'll even write scrolls about you in the future.

I have one more thing I want to tell you, Inu Yasha.  Never, _ever_ be ashamed of being a hanyou.  I know that nearly everyone you meet will look down their nose at you, but I'm telling you right now that they are wrong.  The blood that courses through your veins is that of two proud parents.  There will be times when you'll think the humanity in you is a weakness, but it's not.  Neither is your youkai blood.  

You're neither one nor the other.

You're so much more than that.  I'm just sad that it will take others so long to see in you what your father and I already know.

Knowing all this, I feel a little better about the way your life will turn out.  I'm still heartbroken that both of us will be taken from you before you reach the age of ten, but I take comfort in knowing that you won't be alone all your life.  Your family will be beautiful, and you're going to make us so very proud.

You're still sleeping, my chibi koinu.  It's only when you're sleeping that you look truly innocent and content.  When you're awake you look like you're up to mischief of some kind.  Always such a feisty and clever little boy; never lose that.  Hold on to everything that drives you, and don't lose hope even though it seems all is lost.

Most importantly, remember your mother always has and always will love you with all her heart.

Happy birthday, Inu Yasha.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	3. Father

**Part Two: Father**

My boy is a year old today.  I remember the day you were born rather vividly… 

Twenty hours and a concussion later, courtesy of you mother, you were brought into this world.  Then you screamed your head off.  I remember wondering how you could cry and scream so loudly and not hurt your sensitive ears all at the same time, because mine and your older brother's were ringing for days on end.

You are going to make me proud, though.  I knew that the moment I laid eyes on you.  

Fiercely independent even at barely a year old… reminds me of myself as a pup.  I remember when you started walking a few weeks ago.  The moment you could do it yourself and perfected it, you shot off like a neko youkai in heat.  I can tell you're going to be stubborn-- that means no end of trouble.  When you start to talk, "no" will undoubtedly become your favorite word.  And I'm sure you'll be a handful in your teenage years.

I suppose I shouldn't talk about that, seeing how I'm not going to be around to see it.  Your mom was just in here a few minutes ago and she came out crying; I guess she told you about the visions of your future she had after you were born.

According to her, we'll both be dead before you see your tenth birthday.  I didn't believe it of course, at least not until she predicted the day you'd get your first fang.  Then the second, and the third and….well, you get it, don't you, Inu Yasha?

That was the day the taiyoukai of the west wept.  Not just for the loss of my life, or my wife's, but for the unfairness of it all to you, our son.

If I could maim the kami of fate and change the future for you, I would.  But your mother says there's nothing to be done but accept our fate and try to make the best of the time we have left with each other.

She told me you'd grow into a great man and not to worry.  But I knew that the first time I looked into your eyes.  I could see the dormant power stirring in those amber depths.  You'll never fear any man or demon.  And any who dares to cross your path won't live to tell the tale.  

My boy, you've got spunk; you'll need it in your life.  It won't be easy growing up hanyou, but it's not the curse that so many will tell you.  At least that's the way I feel.  I mean, think about it, you have the best parts of your mother and father combined.  Besides that, you were born out of love.  

I'll warn you now that love will make you do some stupid things. Your mom told me about you and your encounter with that miko.  I gathered that she had to be if she's going to seal you to a tree, only miko have that kind of power.  

Just so you know-- I don't like her, anyway.

She also told me about the other girl, the look-alike miko who unsealed you, and the one you'll eventually marry.  From what I hear, she reminds me of your mother.  Strong and gutsy, yet caring and kindhearted at the same time; I think it runs in the family that we would fall for that kind of woman.  And if you're like me, then you'll mess up every time you try to talk to her, and say something insensitive and stupid.

I pray to the gods every day that you don't have my mouth; your mother would kill me if you did.

I asked her why your life would be so hard.  I made it quite clear to your brother that if anything should happen to me he would rule in my place and make sure you and your mother were taken care of.

Speaking of your brother, he's around here… somewhere… sulking, I suppose.  With all the preparations for your birthday dinner tonight, I guess he's feeling left out.  Sesshoumaru is quite fond of you, did you know that, pup?  I've seen the way he is around you when he thinks no one is looking.  Because of that, I'm not too worried; you pups will look out for each other.

I got you a present.  Well of course I got you a present-- it's your birthday; but that's beside the point.  It took me forever to have it crafted, but I finally got it finished.  You now have your very own fire rat kimono.  Your mother got at me to find you something to protect you when we discovered that on the night of the new moon your youkai blood waned and you were left totally human.  She didn't want you to be helpless and unprotected so I set out to find my youngest son a suit of armor fit for a prince of the western lands.

There are some pretty interesting things about this outfit of yours: it will grow with you, it will never fray or rip, and it will keep you safe until you receive your sword.  Something else I had it made just for you.  The Tetsusaiga was crafted from one of my fangs.  If you ever break it, I pity you because getting a tooth yanked HURTS.  Sometimes I think Totosai is insane, but he's still a hell of a sword smith.

Correction, getting two teeth pulled on the same day HURTS.  I also had a sword made for your brother as well.  The Tensaiga is a brother sword to Tetsusaiga.  I said before that your sword is a guardian sword.  I had it crafted so you would be able to protect yourself and your future mate and family.  It also acts as a seal.  The youkai blood that runs through your veins is strong, sometimes volatile blood.  Right before I commissioned to have the swords made you had a pretty bad nightmare.  Your screaming woke everyone in the castle up, and when your mother went to check on you she nearly passed out.  

It sounded like you had been scared to death, and apparently you were.  Your normally amber eyes were a blood red with blue irises, and a jagged purple streak was on each side of your face.  You transformed into a youkai.  Hanyou aren't supposed to do that normally, and the only times that does happen is when faced with death.  The youkai blood in them starts to burn with the desire to fight and stay alive and completely causes the human blood in them to wane.  Should that happen, bloodlust will take over your being and render you an insane killing machine.

And if it happens too much the hanyou goes insane.  Permanently.

Tetsusaiga will prevent that from happening as long as you have the sword.  Your brother's sword is different.  Tensaiga is a sword of healing.  Sesshoumaru has been through so much already.  He lost his mother when he was only a little pup, not too much older than you are now, and soon he's going to lose me and your mother.  I'm giving him that sword so that the people he cares about won't leave him before their time.  

Both swords are equally strong, just like both of my sons are.

I suppose I should go and see what is keeping this dinner from getting finished.  One would think the servants would get their act together.  After all, it's not every day that a prince of the western lands celebrates his first birthday.

I just hope you remember one thing.  You are my son, and I am proud of you.  No matter what anyone tells you are and always will make me proud.

Happy birthday, pup.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Cute, ne? Read and review!

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	4. Brother

**Part Three: Brother**

*Note this takes place a month before Inu Yasha's fourth birthday and then two weeks after his fourth birthday.*

This Sesshoumaru is not happy….

My brother's fourth birthday is in a month and everyone around here acts like someone just died.  I don't smell death on anyone here, so I don't see why everyone is so depressed all of a sudden.

Well everyone but Inu Yasha, that is.  He and father went out hunting earlier today, I wanted to go with them but father said I had to stay at the palace and continue with my studies.  

After all, I am the heir to the Western Lands, but I will tell you this.  All of the tutoring stinks.  I'm thirteen years old; I should be out hunting, and surveying the lands with father, not stuck in the castle for days on end.

Besides, I didn't go on my first hunt until I was at least seven summers old.

Why the hell is my brat of a baby brother so damn special?  Half brother at that too; I don't know what father was thinking when he mated with a human.  I'll admit that Lady Emiko is a lovely woman, for a human, and an excellent step-mother…

But she's HUMAN!

Father tells me that one day there will be some woman that will do to my heart what Emiko-san has done to his.  I doubt it, because this Sesshoumaru will bend to no woman, human or youkai.

::Crash::

It sounds like Inu Yasha is at it again.  That whelp gets into more trouble than a pack of kitsune.  If he's not knocking something down, he's running around the palace constantly playing some stupid game he invented.  

Father and Emiko think his antics are cute, I think they are annoying. And it's clear to anyone that he's a hanyou, the ears are a dead give away.

But the brat is still my baby brother, and because of that I, Sesshoumaru, Prince of the Western Lands, must look out for his well being.

"Onii-san?"  A small voice called from the door.

"What is it, Inu Yasha?"  I knew he was there, I smelled him from down the hall

"Have you seen chichiue or hahaue?  It's almost dark out."

"So?  You're usually still running around long after the sun has gone down."

"But there's no moon tonight, onii-san.  Hahaue said that I'm 'posed to stay with her or chichiue when there's no moon out."

That's right; it's the first night of the month.  Inu Yasha's human night.  It's things like this that make me glad to be a full blooded youkai.

"I still don't know where father or Emiko-san is Inu Yasha; go ask one of the maids or something."

"Onii-san?"

"What, whelp?"

"How come you call hahaue Emiko-san?"

"Because she's your mother and not mine.  It wouldn't be proper for me to call her mother."

"But how come we're brothers if she's not your hahaue too?"

I sigh and roll my eyes.  This is something that father should be telling him, not me.

"Ask father."

"Hai….ne, onii-san?"

"What, Inu Yasha?"

"How come you didn't go hunting with me and chichiue today?"

"Father said I had to stay here.  Anyway, weren't you looking for them?  Sunset should be in a few minutes."

"Oh, yeah."  His ears drooped a little.  I could smell the tears forming in his eyes.  I'm never gonna get a moment's peace around here.

"Come on, whelp, I'll help you look for father and Emiko-san."

"Yay!  Arigato, onii-san!"  He has this look on his face like the heavens have opened up for him and dropped him his favorite toys.

::Sigh::  This is the price of being the older brother.  Inu Yasha walked happily alongside me through the corridor that lead out of my chambers.  I was in his room earlier today.  The little runt moved the furniture around so it looks likes my room with his things in it.  That's also where I found two of my favorite scrolls.  

Father says Inu Yasha idolizes me.  

Emiko-san says that he says that he wants to be like me when he grows up.

I don't buy it though.

"Say, onii-san?"

"What, pup?"

"When I'm big like you are, will I have a tail, too?"

Then again, I could be wrong, but this Sesshoumaru won't admit defeat easily.  It's just not proper for a prince of the Western Lands to do so.

"No, you won't, Inu Yasha."

"How come?"

"You have ears."

"Oh."  Silence.  "Hey, onii-san?"

Kami-sama, please let me find father or Emiko-san.  SOON.

***

My father is dead.

He left two days ago, but I know he's dead.  

I know this because I now wear the markings of the Lord of the Western Lands.

I knew something was going to happen when father left. A dragon had been causing trouble in the eastern most part of our lands.  Father had no fears about the threat until one of the scouts informed him that it was a dragon youkai.

Emiko-san and father both fainted.  Father NEVER faints.  I knew something was wrong.

Before he left, Emiko-san was crying, almost like she knew he wasn't going to come home this time.  Inu Yasha… he's so little, he has hardly any idea what's going on around here.  

I'm going to have to tell him that father is dead; it's my responsibility as Youkai Lord of the West.

Somehow though, it feels like I knew about this already.

I remember after Inu Yasha was born, Emiko-san blacked out or something, at least that's what father told me at the time.

Later, I was walking by their chambers, and I briefly heard something about Inu Yasha's tenth birthday and a dragon.

A dragon.

They knew.  They've known about this day since the day that little brat was born and didn't tell me.  If they had told me I could have went with father and helped him, or even would have stopped him from going in the first place.

They knew why he was going to die and did nothing to prevent it.

"Onii-san, why is hahaue crying?"

Inu Yasha was pulling on the leg of my kimono.

Inu Yasha…

It's his fault father is dead.  If he had never been born, then my father might still be alive.  

That's why they showered him with attention.

That's why he was the favorite son.

"Let go."  I didn't even bother to look at him when I told him. 

I, Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands have come to a conclusion.  The hanyou Inu Yasha is responsible for my father's death.  I will see to it that one day he and his human wench of a mother will pay.  

I have no brother. Inu Yasha will die, and it will be by my hand.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That folks is the day that two brothers became enemies, unbeknownst to the younger.

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	5. Interlude: Innocence Lost

**Interlude:  Innocence Lost**

*In my original outline for this story this chapter didn't exist, but as I was writing Parts Four and Five I realized that I neglected to mention a few things and another chapter was necessary.*

Yesterday was my birthday.  I'm seven years old now, and hahaue said that I was finally a man now and that one day I'm going to be big and strong like chichiue…

I don't remember chichiue that well. He died when I was little.  Hahaue said it was after I turned four when he went to fight the dragon.

He didn't come back to the castle.

I kinda remember that day.  It was the same day that Sesshoumaru-onii-san got his crescent moon on his forehead like otousan.  That's what made him Lord of the Western Lands.

That was the same day onii-san started being really mean to me.  Not mean like the other children in the village.  All they do is pick on me.  They call me names and last week they took my ball…

It was a gift from chichiue.

Sesshoumaru-onii-san stopped talking to me after chichiue left and didn't come back.  I never told hahaue, but once, right before we left the castle and went back to like in hahaue's old village, onii-san said I was tainted and trash.

He called me a hanyou.  I didn't know what 'hanyou' meant then, and I still don't now.  Hahaue won't tell me.  

And I don't know why he started being a big jerk to me.  I didn't do anything wrong!  I stopped taking his scrolls when he told me to….

I'm not gonna cry.

Real men don't cry.  And neither do princes.  

I think I'm still a prince.  We moved out of the palace a few months ago.  Hahaue said that we had to or else Sesshoumaru-onii-san would be cranky.  

He's not fun to be around when he's cranky.

I can smell hahaue crying her bedroom.  She's been doing that all week.  I thought birthdays were supposed to be happy.  All my other ones were.  Anyway yesterday I heard her while she was praying.  She looked really sad and then told chichiue that she'd be with him soon.

I don't understand, but I didn't want to make her sadder.  I kinda remember chichiue telling me that when a woman cries that even a mighty warrior will crumble.  Chichiue told me lots of things when I was a little pup.  He taught he lots of stuff too, like how to hunt and track.  He said that my sense of smell was almost as good as his.  He even taught me how to use my claws to fight with, but he said I'm not supposed to fight if I don't have to.  My attacks are just like his was, that's what hahaue tells me.  

I miss Sesshoumaru-onii-san, even if he was being mean to me.

And I miss chichiue; hahaue does too and I think that's why she cries so much.

****

_Three days later…._

_***_

My birthday was four days ago.  I turned seven years old.  My hahaue said that on my birthday I was finally a man.  She was wrong.

Today I'm a man because hahaue is gone.  

Our village was attacked last night on the new moon.  I turn human on the new moon. They attacked just after the sunset, right when all my powers went away like they always did on the new moon.

Our hut was on the very end of the village.  We lived there because hahaue didn't want to be bothered with the other villagers.  They insulted us, they threw stones and I didn't understand why before.

But I do now.

It was because of me.

I'm a hanyou, that's what Sesshoumaru once called me when we still lived at the palace.  Hahaue finally told me what it meant two days ago.  I'm not human, but I'm not demon.

I'm half and half.  And for some reason almost everyone I see hates me, except hahaue.

But she's gone like chichiue now. 

We heard noises coming from the heart of the village.  Hahaue looked out the window of our hut and saw the flames and the blood.  She told me to run away as fast as I could, but I didn't want to leave her.  

She told me that I had to run.  Not for me, but for her and that I had to hide somewhere where the demons wouldn't find me.  And not to worry about her because she would be fine.  

Then she told me that she would always love me.  I didn't understand then, but I do now.

I did what she asked and I ran from the village.  On my way to the forest I saw Sesshoumaru and I thought that he was coming to save us.

Then he ripped the village head man's head off his body.  

I ran and I never looked back.

The demons that attacked the village were Inu Youkai.  Funny, but they were some of the same Inu Youkai from the Western Lands, my old home.

Home…

I don't have a home anymore.

At sunrise I went back to our hut to look for hahaue. My demon powers were back and I could fight if I needed to.

I found hahaue lying on the floor of our hut in a pool of her blood.  The sight made me sick to my stomach, but the smell was worse.

The whole hut smelled like flowers, but that wasn't a good thing.  Lots of poisons smell like flowers. 

Including Sesshoumaru's poison claw.

He killed my hahaue.  

And I know that if I was there with her I would have died too.

I finished burying her a few hours ago, and I'm going to burn the hut as well.

I just want to know why he did it.  Why did he kill my hahaue?

Does he hate me like everyone else does because I'm a hanyou?

I'm not going to cry.  Men don't cry.  Chichiue never cried before, and since I'm his son I'm not going to either.

I'm going to get big, and strong…

And then I'm going to kill my brother.

Wait….

He's NOT my brother.  If he was he wouldn't have ordered the attack on our village.

If he was my brother he wouldn't have killed my hahaue.

If he was my brother he wouldn't hate me the way he does.

I'm seven years old and I'm a man….

All because I'm alone in the world now.

I miss you hahaue….

_Today an inu hanyou learned the true meaning of hate and pain.  He lost his innocence…_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

::Cries:: Gods that's SO sad!  I'm sure many are wondering why I made Sess-chan the big bad guy here, well if you remember episode seven (I think), when Sesshoumaru uses the image of Inu Yasha's mom to try to get the location of Tetsusaiga from him Inu Yasha says, "She's dead and we both know it…"  or something to that effect.

Can anyone else think of a reason why he'd say something like that?

Just a short Interlude, Part Four is next.

Ja, minna.

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	6. Miko

**Part Four: Miko**

*Note: This is pre-resurrection Kikyo.  I can't write anything about the undead Kikyo without wanting to kill the bitch…anyway, these are Kikyo's thoughts and reasons why Inu Yasha should use the Shikon no Tama to become human mostly.*

Normal.

That's all that I've ever wanted.

It's something I'll never have though.  I am a shine maiden, a miko.  My life is devoted to being that.  It's my born calling.

So why do I feel so incomplete?

Maybe it's because of my duty.  I have been entrusted to guard and purify the Shikon no Tama.

Well, I can never say that my life was dull.  Demons from all over the land have come to my village trying to steal the sacred jewel.  They'll never get it though.  I'll keep slaying all the demons as long as they try to take it.

Well maybe not _all…._

For the last few months a hanyou has been trying to steal the jewel and for some reason I cannot kill him.

Maybe it's because I know he's half human.

Maybe it's because I feel somewhat sorry for him.

Maybe it's because I think I'm in love with him.

He asked me one day why I never just finished him.  I had no real answer for him, and told him to stop coming around because I was tired of wasting arrows.

He didn't.  He's that stubborn. 

Weeks after that I finally gave up shooting at him, we both knew he wasn't going to get the jewel from me, and I invited him to sit with me while I ate my lunch by the river bank.

He came out of the tree he was perched in, and sat next to me.  It was clear that he didn't trust me; I wasn't sure what I was doing at the time.  I asked him how he saw me.  

He said I was stupid.  His honesty made me almost want to cry.  For the first time in a very long time I felt like a normal woman and not a priestess. 

A normal woman.

Normal.

I don't understand why I'm drawn to him the way I am.  Maybe it's because when I look into those golden eyes of his I see the same sadness and loneliness in his soul that I feel in mine.

He's never spoken of his family to me.  But I'm sure I can guess why he wants the Tama.  He's a hanyou; to have the Shikon no Tama would give him the power to eradicate the human blood in him and he would be a full demon.

No more prejudice from other demons and humans.  

No more loneliness.

I wish there could be some way for me to fix my problems like that…

Wait…

Hanyou….

Half demon, half _human…._

What if Inu Yasha used the jewel to become human rather than demon?  It would be purified and destroyed because it wasn't used for evil intentions, and we'd both be free to live the lives we want.

Maybe even live together as husband and wife.

As much as I care for him as he is now, I cannot help but doubt him a little.  I suppose you could call it fear.  I fear the creature he could become.  

Demons are not predictable, and hanyous are sometimes worse because of youkai instincts mixing with human emotions.  

So I have complete faith and trust in the human half of Inu Yasha, but the demon in him scares me.  

I'll never tell him that though.  I'll never tell him that the thing I fear the most is the fact that he could turn on me at any moment.

My head tells me that as a priestess I should have killed him the first time I saw him.

My heart tells me that as a woman I should give myself the opportunity to experience love.

There in lies my dilemma.

But I think I've come up with a solution; Inu Yasha will use the jewel.  He'll become human and we can both live our lives together.

A normal life together.  No more being alone all the time, no more having to pretend to be things that we aren't. 

Just us, together, happy.

That's all I've ever wanted, and I know Inu Yasha has only been looking for a way to be accepted.  

This is his chance.  He'll never again be looked down upon because of what he is.

Normal.

Totally and completely normal is what our lives will be.  And if he does this for me, for us then I'll never have anymore reason to doubt him and his intentions.  I'll finally be able to love him with my whole heart.  

I'll no longer have to be a miko.

I'll just be a woman.

Normal.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Author's notes:

This chapter was written while I was watching the episode with the illusionary forest.  Throughout the whole episode I got to wondering what were Kikyo's intentions with Inu Yasha way back when.  I figured that they had to be pure on some level, but really asking someone to change who they are?  Selfish to the core when you think about it.  I've also decided that this whole story will be 12 chapters long.  I've got them semi-outlined, so if anyone sent any suggestion, tragically I won't be taking them after all.  

Next time: Part Five: Enemy: wonder who's gonna be showing up here?

Read and review, ja ne!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	7. Enemy

**Part Five: Enemy**

*A short time after Kikyo decided what to do with the jewel; Onigumo devises a plan of his own.*

I want to defile her.

I want to see every part of her tainted.  She's been tempting me since the day she found me here in this cave.  That kind hearted miko; she thinks she's doing her duty, helping a dying man.  

She has no idea how corrupt a bastard I am, if she did I think she'd kill me herself.

I'll never tell her though, because then she would know how badly I want her defiled.  

To have her purity and innocence tainted…

To have her pure blood spilt on my hands…

But I may never get the chance.

She's involved with a demon, a hanyou of all things.  I can hear them talking to each other when she comes to change my bandages or give me food.  That bastard, he's taking the pure miko I want to defile and is doing that himself.  

Then again I don't think she'd ever let him touch her in that way, after all she is a miko.

I will make her mine.

I will taint her.

And then I will make that hanyou suffer.

I wanted Kikyo even before I knew she was here.  In the last village that I ransacked and torched an old geezer mentioned something about a miko who possessed the Shikon no Tama.  It's rumored to give demons unfathomable powers and humans anything they want with a wish.

Of course those things only come to those who desire power and are corrupt beyond any salvation.

I had found my next target.

I was coming to this village with the intent of slaughtering and ransacking it, then stealing the Shikon no Tama and using it to fulfill my selfish desires.  Things would have gone to plan if it wasn't for those dammed samurais that found me and my gang of bandits.  They set the manor that we were currently occupying on fire killing damn near everyone there and not quite killing me.  

That's where those bastards found me, burnt alive and half dead, so I assume they decided to help speed along the process of my demise.  They tossed me in the river wrapped in bamboo knowing that with the burns I sustained the bamboo and the water would have me suffering until my last breath.

They didn't count on my determination.

I want that jewel and the miko Kikyo.

And I always get my way.

I've devised a plan of sorts.  I'm dying, and the chances of me getting reincarnated are a snowball's chance in hell.  My soul is far too corrupt for salvation so I know that in all probability the kamis are going to make sure my soul ends up in hell.

I'm not going that easily though.

It has been rumored that a human can become a demon, granted that the human was vile and corrupt to begin with.  

The power that any demon possesses….I'd give any thing for it.

Including my corrupted soul.

I've been calling the demons forth for three days now, in two more there will be enough to devour my body and give me the power I desire.

Well not all of it….

The Shikon no Tama shines brightest when tainted and corrupted…

I think Kikyo would be more beautiful if she weren't as pure as she is now…

In two days, Onigumo will finally die.  

Naraku will live.

And that hanyou that thinks he can have my miko will suffer immensely.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I read the reviews for this fic so far and let me tell you all THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!

This chapter was fun to write.  I think the best part about this story has to be getting into so many characters heads.  I know I'm having fun.

Next:  Part Six: To Die…

Ja ne!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	8. To Die

**Part Six: To Die…**

*Told in two POV's, Inu Yasha and Kikyo both give their viewpoints of the supposed betrayal they experienced on that fateful morning, and the feelings they had for each other when they died.*

***

**Kikyo's final thoughts**

It seems my fears were justified.  (Read Part Four: Miko for more…)  

That bastard hanyou betrayed me.

And now I'm dying.   

I told him of my plan to rid ourselves of the Shikon no Tama and he agreed to the idea.

He was supposed to become human…for us.  We were going to have a future together.  We were going to be two normal people.  

I told him of my idea yesterday.  Later we went rowing down the river and watched the sunset together.  It was such a beautiful moment with Inu Yasha.  I got out of the boat and tripped over my bow.  He caught me in his arms and did something he's never done before.

He embraced me.

Before that moment he had never touched me before.  And I knew at that moment that I was making the right decision.  

And I wasn't afraid of anything then.

We agreed to meet in the meadow at dawn this morning.  I was there with the Shikon no Tama waiting for him.

I never heard him coming, but I felt the claws as they slashed my back piercing my lungs.  In the back of my mind I knew it was him, but my heart just didn't want to believe it.  It was broken into a thousand pieces when I heard his voice.  

He spoke with a tone more callus and nasty than any I had ever heard from him.  He called me a fool, an idiot for believing that he'd ever truly want to become human.

You know something he's right.  I was a fool, a fool for believing that anything, even if only part demon was or could be something other than evil.  I blame my ignorance and inexperience for this.

He took the jewel and headed toward the village.  Something about it needing more blood on it before he uses it.

That bastard betrayed me.

I arrived at the village to see the last of his destruction.  Thankfully no one was really hurt.  Kaede, my little sister, was running after me.  She was trying to get me to stop and tend to my wounds.

It doesn't matter though; I know I'm going to die and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it from happening.  

I spotted Inu Yasha running at a breakneck speed out of the gardens and toward the forest.  He's not going to get away from me though.  I will see him take his last breath before I take my own.

With all the strength I could muster I fired my arrow directly at his heart and pinned him to a tree.

It won't kill him though.  That's not my plan.  I feel that to send him to the afterlife is something too good for that bastard.  I sealed him to that tree; he'll spend eternity there in some form of sleep never to wake up because the only one who can free him is me or a future reincarnation of mine.

By the time my soul is reincarnated, the forest will probably be burnt to the ground, and our paths will never cross again.

For me to see him in death would be too hard to bear.  The memories of the tender moments we shared now are slowly eating at my soul.  I suppose that is the only good thing about dying, I won't have to remember much longer.

The Shikon no Tama.  The very bead that started this whole mess.  It's the reason I'm dying now.  I want Kaede to burn it with my remains.  It will never again fall in the wrong hands.

But before my life ends, I just want you to know one thing.  

I hate Inu Yasha.

***

**Inu Yasha's final thoughts**

I should have known not to trust a human.  

That bitch Kikyo betrayed me…

I should have known better than to trust her.  Like so many that I have trusted in my life she turned on me when the opportunity saw fit.  (Read Interlude:  Innocence Lost for more on that…)

Then again I should have seen it coming; after all she did ask me to become human.

At the time it seemed like a good idea.  She would get rid of the jewel, demons would stop coming around for the dammed thing, and neither one of us would be lonely anymore.

Kikyo said we'd get married sometime soon.  

I was starting to like the sound of it all.  I've been alone fending for myself for ten years now and I'm tired.  

I'm tired of running, tired of being looked down upon and shunned….

Most of all I'm tired of being a damn hanyou.  That's why I was after the Shikon no Tama in the first place.  I wanted to change and become the demon that I should be.

Then I could kick Sesshoumaru's ass from here to Timbuktu.

Then I met Kikyo.  I never wanted the thing so badly that I'd kill her for it.  I won't kill someone without a pretty good damn reason to.  

Sesshoumaru has his, and I don't care if he is my brother because family doesn't matter that much to him either.

I remember the day she asked me to come down from the tree I was watching her in.  She was eating her lunch by the river bank.  She asked me some dumbass question about how I saw her.

I told her she was stupid.

She laughed the saddest laugh I had ever heard.  It was in that moment that I knew I never wanted to see her sad.  Ever.

I suppose that's the whole reason I went along with her idea.  I wanted to see her happy….I think that in some way seeing her happy made me happy.

Happy…there's something I forgot existed…

We agreed to it yesterday.  We were docking the boat we took out to the river.  She tripped on her bow and I caught her.

Then I hugged her.

I didn't want to let her go.  That was the moment I fell in love with her.

Bitch.

I was heading to the meadow we had agreed to meet at this morning at sunrise.  I was just heading out of the forest when an arrow flew past me, just missing my head.

It was Kikyo.

So I ran to the village.  To hell with her plan…shit, to hell with HER period.

The jewel was in the temple where it was usually kept.  I stole it.  I didn't loot the village or kill anyone like most youkai would do.

They did nothing to me, so I had no reason to spill their blood.

I just stole it and ran, and I was almost out of the garden and into the forest.

Then she yelled my name.  Like a dumbass I stopped for a moment and looked.

I saw the arrow before it hit me.

For a moment time stopped.  It was just me and Kikyo there.  There were no sounds from anything.

Just us.  

And she looked like she hated me.

That arrow was enchanted; I have no idea what the hell it's going to do to me but….

When did I start to get so tired?

Why is Kikyo limping…..bitch….

Keh, looks like this is it for me….

Wait….

Is that…

Why do I smell blood…?

K-Kikyo….you bitch…I….

_I love you….traitor…._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Makes you kinda feel bad for Kikyo, ne?

I always wondered why Kikyo didn't kill Inu Yasha before she died.  Was it the fact that she didn't want to see him in the afterlife like I theorized here, or was it for different reasons? Maybe she sealed him away with the intent of having him unsealed at a later time by one of her reincarnations hoping that they could have a second chance at the life she so desperately wanted, but couldn't have.  Maybe she really did love him and couldn't kill him even though he had sentenced her to her death.

Or maybe she was just being stupid.

Who knows?

By the way I really like this chapter.

Next chapter:  Part Seven: Future

Ja ne.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	9. Future

**Part Seven: Future**

Did you ever feel like you were just sitting waiting for your life to start?

I do.

My fifteenth birthday is in little less than a week, and in the almost fifteen years I've been alive I never really felt like I ever lived.

I know, I'm only fifteen, so how can I say I've never lived….in theory I haven't.  

So I guess it's more like something is missing in my life, and I don't know what it is.

I guess I should start at the beginning.

My father died when I was six years old in a train crash coming home from work one evening.  He left me, my mom, and my baby brother all alone.

I think that was the day I grew up.

We moved to the shrine with my grandfather.  My dad was supposed to one day take over the shrine for grandpa, but since he's not here anymore I'm the one that has to carry on the family traditions.

Souta, my brother, wants to be a soccer player.

The feelings of incompleteness started right after we moved to the shrine.  Mama thought it was just because I missed Daddy so much, and for a while I did too.

Until the dreams.

They were harmless at first.  Lovely images of a beautiful forest, and countryside that you can't find in Japan anymore.

The thing I remember most is the most gorgeous shade of amber.  I'm not sure what it is that has that color but it's beautiful. The dreams were like that for years.  Occasionally I saw people, but never their faces or anything that could distinguish one from another.  Over the last few years the dreams have been more intense.

I started to feel the emotions of the woman in my dreams.  I was always a woman in my dreams.  She always seemed so sad and lonely at times.  Then at other times she was bitter and resentful.  Like the world had done some great injustice to her and there was nothing she could do about it except brood.  

I never understood her anger, and I think as a result of that I made it a point to always try to see the good in bad situations.  I'm happy and cheerful because I know how it feels to be angry and lonely.

And I hated it.

So I put all my time and energy into school and my family, and for a while that's what kept me happy no matter what.  But lately it feels like my life is missing something.  The girls are always trying to get me to date someone; and while I like some of the boys that go to our school, they're just not for me.  I mean there's something missing from them and I just can't quite put my finger on it.  (AN:  They're missing fluffy white puppy ears Kagome…)

Again I know, I can't say that my life is missing anything…I'm not even fifteen yet….still, I feel incomplete. Like there's something that only I'm supposed to do.

My dreams have changed lately, I forgot to mention that.  Or I should say that the feelings have changed.  The girl in my dream feels happy to an extent.  There's still some sadness and maybe even some fear in her.  I don't' know why she feels that way but she does.  And I still see that gorgeous amber.  It burns like a fire in my mind.  So warm and pure; I feel safe when I see it in my dreams…but at the same time I feel like something bad is going to happen.  It's like one of those bad horror movies where you know what's behind the door and you yell at the screen trying to tell the characters to run the other way and they don't.  It's like that, and I don't know why.  But I feel that something is going to go wrong and the happiness this girl feels is going to go away and that bright amber I see is going to burn out and fade away.

And when that all does then my life will start…

But that's not possible is it?

***

_The night before Kagome's B-day, __1:34 am___

Dear Diary, 

My birthday is in exactly 48 minutes and I'm going to be fifteen.  I should be sleeping because I have to go to school tomorrow.  I know it stinks that I have school on my birthday, but there's nothing I can do about it.  

Mama's gonna make oden, YUMMY!

Anyway, I can't sleep because I had another dream…actually it was more like a nightmare.  

All I felt was pain.

It started out in the same field or meadow that my dreams always start in.  The girl in my dream was incredibly happy about something, I'm not sure what, she was really happy that day for some reason.

Then the next thing I knew someone or something slashed her across her back and shoulder.  

The scary thing was I felt it, like it was me that got attacked and hurt.

Then there was the fire.  She/I was being burned and I heard something about the Shikon no Tama…

But that's just a legend right?

Mou, I gotta stop listening to grandpa's stories before bed….even if I wasn't listening….

Happy birthday to me.  Something tells me that I'm not gonna ever forget this one.

Ja!

~Kagome

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A little bit about this part.  My theory is that when reincarnated, you still share some of the same memories and feelings from your previous life.  I mean that would make sense and would help form the person you are now.  So why wouldn't Kagome see and feel some of the things Kikyo did?

It also give reason why when after she fell through the well she got out and started to look around.  She on some subconscious level knew the place she was in because she had been there before in her dreams.  And why she doesn't remember her dreams after her first trip through the well?  Simple, now that her powers are awakened she doesn't need the memories anymore, but she feels things that seem familiar.

As to her feelings for Inu Yasha, those are hers and hers alone.  She only remembers his eye color and sees nothing else about him, and she feels safe…

Maybe there was something more than just wanting to stay alive when she pulled out that arrow.

Next time:  Part Eight: …To Live:  The eventful first meeting and what happens when cranky hanyous wake up on the wrong side of the tree.

Ja.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	10. To Live

**Part Eight: …To Live**

* The first meeting of Inu Yasha and Kagome.  Both feel alive for different reasons, but the point is that they both feel alive.*

****

What the hell was that?

I was in the well house looking for that baka neko of mine, Buyo, for Souta and the next thing I know I'm in the old well with this thing trying to eat me!

_Shikon No Tama…_

Mou, I think I hit my head…

***

_~*~*~*~*~*~_
    
    _[Wake me up]  Wake me up inside_
    
    _[I can't wake up]  Wake me up inside_

_~*~*~*~*~*~_

I climbed out of the well.  I never expected what I saw though.

A forest.

Not the shrine I called home but a forest.  I thought that I was dreaming, I mean many of my dreams involved a forest like this one.

Then I saw the Goshinboku Tree in the distance standing tall and proudly; exactly like it did at home.  So I ran to it hoping that I would wake up from this 'dream' or whatever I was having.

That's when I saw him.

A boy…

A boy, who looked to be sleeping pinned to the Goshinboku Tree by an arrow.

An arrow?

_::Thrum of an arrow being fired:: _

The way the roots wrapped around him and the tree suggested that he's been there for quite sometime.  

But that wasn't the first thing I noticed.

That would be the fluffy ears sitting on top of his head.

On top?

My curiosity got the better of me, so I approached him and rubbed them both.

They're so soft!!!

I pinched myself on the arm, nope this isn't a dream.

And for some reason that makes me happy.

Some birthday, ne?

::Thock, thock::

Nani?

"You there!  What are you doing here?"

::Sigh::  I knew it was too good to be true…

****

(AN:  This is a jump directly to Inu Yasha waking up.)

_~*~*~*~*~*~_
    
    _[Save me]  Call my name and save me from the dark_
    
    _[Wake me up]  Bid my blood to run_

_~*~*~*~*~*~_

_"Anyone!__  Help me!!"_

Ba-bump…

Ba-bump…

Ba-bump…

::Knuckles crack::

Ouch.  That fucking hurt.

When I get my hands on…

::Sniffs air::

Heh, it's the stench of the wench that sealed me here.

I started to reach for the arrow, but the magic Kikyo put into is attacked my hand.

Meaning _she's** the only one that can release me.**_

Fuck.

Wait…

How the hell did I wake up?  No one's here, it's night and the forest.

What the hell happened?

****

Why does this thing keep coming after me?

I don't have the Shikon no Tama!

Kaede said to drive it back into the well in the Inu Yasha no Mori, I think that's what she called it.

That must be where that light is coming from.

"Give me the jewel!!"

Oh no…

"Anyone!  Help me!!!"

I ran faster than I knew I could.

Apparently so was the centipede.

She attacked the ground and sent me flying through the air.  I skidded along the grass right to the base of the Goshinboku Tree.

"Oi Kikyo!"

Huh?  I looked up to where the voice came from.

The boy….

He talked?

"What are you doing playing around with that third rate youkai?  Finish it off with one blow like you did me."

What is he going on about?

****

Keh, guess no one expected to see me awake.

That damn centipede was after Kikyo and that wench was running scared!

Oi, what's with her weird clothes?

The villagers saved her ass after she fried the arms off that youkai bitch.

I don't remember her having _that kind of power…_

How long have I been sealed here?

"Oi Kikyo!  I'm disappointed in you playing with her like that."

"Kikyo, Kikyo, Kikyo!  I'm not Kikyo!  My name is Kagome got it?  Ka-Go-Me!"

She climbed the roots of my tree and looked me dead in the eye.

"Kik-"

::Sniff, sniff::

She's not Kikyo.

"You're not Kikyo."

"That's what I've been saying."

"Yeah…Kikyo smelled better.  She's prettier too."

Why the hell did I say that?

Oh yeah…

Never mind.

She was about to yell at me again when Mistress Centipede attacked.

"She's coming."

Again.

"Give me the Shikon no Tama!!"

Wait a minute…

This wench has it?!?

****

"She's coming."

The centipede attacked me again.

Mou, this is annoying…kind of like stupid boys with puppy ears that tell me I smell bad.

Stupid jerk.

"Give me the Shikon no Tama!!"

The centipede came at me again and bit me.  When she flung me into the air a glass ball flew beside me.

The Shikon no Tama…

Came from inside my body.

It came from inside me?

"Oi, give me the jewel!!!"

The next thing I know I'm being smashed against a tree and a very strange looking boy.

"Oi."

Huh?

"Can you pull this arrow out?"

For some reason I feel like I should.  I hear Kaede in the distance telling me not to.

But…

I feel like there's something compelling me to free him; like if I do I'll be freeing myself as well.

To live…

That's what I'd be doing if I released him, and that's better than dying here in the place that I don't even know.

_~*~*~*~*~*~_
    
    _[I can't wake up]  Before I come undone_
    
    _[Save me]  Save me from the nothing I've become_

_~*~*~*~*~*~_

****

"Oi.  Can you pull this arrow out?"

She's not Kikyo.

So I can't kill her…

Doesn't mean that I can't scare here, which is what I'm going to do as soon as she frees me from this damn seal.

That jewel is mine.

The old hag with the village men is telling her not to release me.

Guess they wanna be desert after this youkai bitch gets through with us.

To be honest, I don't wanna die pinned to this damn tree with this…girl here.

"Hey I'm asking if you can pull this arrow out!  Can you or not?!?"

Her head snapped up and she looked at me, determination shining in her blue gray eyes.

There's something about this girl…

"Live again, Inu Yasha!!!"

The arrow vanished.

Ba-bump…

Ba-bump…

Ba-bump…

It's good to be alive again…

_~*~*~*~*~*~_
    
    _Bring me to life…_

_~*~*~*~*~*~_

***

I was writing this while listening to Evanescence's Bring Me to Life.  And damn if the song didn't fit!  Anyways, as always this chapter was fun to write…and now that the stint of writers block is gone I can get back to writing my other stories.  Yes the lemon for Answered Dreams is coming…do you people read the author's profiles?

Feh.

Next time:  Part Nine:  Rivalry.  Nope this chapter doesn't have Kouga in it; it's another brotherly moment with out good friend Fluffy-sama.

Read and review, ja!

***


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